The Onion reports:

CHARLOTTE, NC—A top-of-the-line, third-generation Roomba Scheduler robotic floor-cleaning vacuum purchased in January by 35-year-old claims adjuster Ken Graney has inexplicably broken all three laws of Roombotics, a simple yet vital protocol programmed into every Roomba by its manufacturer, iRobot.

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Link c/o Carl Shulman.