A Modest Proposal for the Relief of the Sick and Aged in Our Society

Overpopulation is a common objection to finding a treatment for aging- after all, if we keep living on forever, won’t the population grow exponentially? Exponential growth is clearly unsustainable long-term; by the year 5000 or so, if the human population grew exponentially, the Earth would have turned into a packed wall of human flesh. And yet nobody can deny the great calamities suffered by senior citizens nowadays- over 70% of seniors have at least one chronic medical condition, and over 10% of the GDP of the US is spent on healthcare.

Therefore, I propose that, instead of simply waiting around for senior citizens to die, we simply give them anti-aging treatments, wait until they reach a certain age, and then round them up and machine-gun them all. This solution simultaneously solves the overpopulation problem, as the age of death can be adjusted to keep the population in check, and the old age problem. The benefits of this solution are manyfold:

- This system is vastly more efficient. Instead of spending a huge quantity of money on healthcare, we can simply use the military we already have anyway to do what it does best.

- This system is far more humane to seniors. Unlike current old age, seniors would still be happy and vital right up until the moment of their deaths, free from heart attacks, strokes, cancer, chemotherapy and long hospital visits. In addition, instead of waiting for years in agonizing pain, seniors would know exactly when they were going to die, and death would come instantly.

- This system is far more efficient for the running of a society. Instead of having to retire and becoming a drain on society, or sitting in a hospital soaking up valuable resources, seniors can have jobs and hobbies and even raise children of their own no matter how old they get.

Quite clearly, this system is the best of all the ones so far proposed for managing a future society, and the costs of implementation are minimal- no new technologies are required beyond the ones we’re already developing anyway.

8 thoughts on “A Modest Proposal for the Relief of the Sick and Aged in Our Society

  1. No, I didn’t catch that, because I guess I wasn’t paying attention enough. :( Oh well, forgive me and possibly consider deleting these comments also. Looks like I pwned myself, lol.

  2. And to think I even named it after one of the most famous satires of all time, A Modest Proposal: For Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland from Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick (on eating babies).

  3. Pingback: Life, the Universe, and Everything » Death is Not Good

  4. Pingback:   A Modest Proposal for the Relief of the Sick and Aged in Our Society by cancer.MEDtrials.info

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